Pizza and Prose

So, we've done quite a few pizzas in the month or so since the last post about pizza. I intended to save the pictures and write a blog post devoted entirely to pizza. We loved all of them though. So no suspense. I realized that a blog post about pizza would be boring to read. I realized the thought of writing it bored me. So we're going to switch things up. I'm going to show you all the pizza pictures, but I'm going to talk about books.

I know. You're excited. Here we go.

Mango Black Bean Pizza

As you know, I've started to work my way through the Oxford US History Series. The idea for this series was born in the 1950s. A couple prominent historians wanted to produce a multi-volume history of the US explaining the development and change of politics, culture, and social movements. They wanted a series that appealed to the general reader and that had lasting value. A definitive work of US history that generations to come could read beside a fire on a cold winter night.

They got to work with the writing of the thing, but by the 60s they way we study history changed. It became more scientific, relied as much on chemistry and technology as on written texts, and as a result, what we know about history changed. By the 70s, the books written for the series were already out of date, so they went back to the drawing board. The first published book of the series (3rd chronologically) came out in 1982. The next one (number 6 in the series) came out in 1988.

So far, 8 of the 12 books have been published, with one (book 8) on the way next year and three more in planning. I started with book 3, The Glorious Cause by Robert Middlekauff, about the American Revolution. The first book, about America before the Europeans, and the second, about Colonial America, are yet to be published. I plan to read at least through book 6 (Civil War). Book 7 about Reconstruction isn't finished.

Each book covers a roughly 30 year span. Three of the books won Pulitzers, two more were finalists, one won the Bancroft Prize, and one the National Book Critics Circle Award. Each weighs in at around 800 pages long. Large pages. With very small writing.

Indian Spice Pizza

Remember how your high school history book made you feel. Dry writing with lists of names and dates. Reading it made you want to gouge your eyes out with a freshly sharpened number 2 pencil. That's how Middlekauff made me feel. I've read a fair amount of very engaging historical writers: Tom Holland, Joseph Ellis, Alan Taylor, David McCullough. Middlekauff was not one of them.

I'm not saying it wasn't thorough, well-researched, and historically accurate. I'm saying I didn't care. I almost didn't make it through. I kept my eye on the prize, though. Eventually, I'll make it to the McPherson Civil War installment, Battle Cry of Freedom. It's supposed to be the best single volume history of the civil war and the best of this series.

Middlekauff wrapped things up after the Constitutional Convention and I needed a little break from history. I needed something completely different. I needed a slice of chocolate cake after finishing all my steamed Brussels Sprouts. You know what I'm talking about. Few things in the literary world are as chocolate cake as Fantasy. Last year, I read the first three Song of Ice and Fire books and loved them.

Side note: Everyone needs to read Game of Thrones (the first book of Song of Ice and Fire), at least. Forget that it's an HBO miniseries. Forget that it's technically fantasy. Think of it more as a Medieval Political Thriller. If you like interesting characters, decent dialogue, and a good story, then you'll like this book.

Those in the know say, if you liked Game of Thrones and want to take the next step, read the Malazan books. So I did. Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson. It committed all the sins of fantasy. Also, on top of flat characters and cartoon dialogue, the plot was ridiculous.

Spinach Feta Calzone

So, you have the Malazan Empire on the march to conquer the known world. The last free city resisting annexation is Darujhistan. The book starts well enough. You don't have to slog through backstory getting to know the characters or the political situation. Erikson drops you in the middle of the action. It's more than a simple story of an Empire trying to conquer a city. There are rival factions within the Imperial ruling class, within the Imperial Army, within the city under seige. There are neighboring peoples and gods and demons and religious crusaders. Everyone has a different agenda and it all comes to a head in this single city. Sounds good, right? Well, it doesn't so much come to a head as it comes to a weak plot resolution.

You see, Adjunct Lorn, on behalf of Empress Lazeen, travels to the hills outside Darujhistan to awaken the Jaghut Tyrant, and ancient monster, who will destroy the city. You're waiting for it the entire novel. She finally makes it there, awakens the monster, who starts rampaging across the plain toward the city. This seven foot immortal guy named Anomander Rake, of the Tiste Andii, unleashes his three pet dragons to battle the Jaghut Tyrant. Meanwhile in the city, as espionage/assassin subplots are unfolding at this huge yearly festival, they can hear the monster battles on the plain. The Jaghut is putting a serious smack down on the dragons and draws ever nearer to the city gates. This is it, you think. Some epic-ness is about to happen in a serious way.

Nope.

Another character, who was secretly the most powerful wizard of all time, appears on the plain. Poof. He kills the Jaghut. Zap. So much for that. Well, Adjunct Lorn apparently has a powerful demon in a bottle or something that also has the power to destroy the city and she unleashes it. Then there's a massive wizard battle and the good guys win and the bad guys lose.

Boo.

Spinach Artichoke Pizza

Some of you may have already read my thoughts on the state of American Fantasy writing. Here it is in a nutshell. Most Fantasy is aristocratic literature. It reflects a British history, worldview, and culture. American Fantasy needs to be more democratic. It needs to be about rugged individualism. It needs to be more man versus nature. Basically, American Fantasy needs to be more like the Western.

Also, big pet peeve. Enough with the stupid names. Stop. Anomander Rake? T'lan Imass? Yes, Tolkien made up his own names. Tolkien was a linguist. He also made up several complete languages for his books. All the languages and place names and people names followed strict grammatical and phonemic rules. He didn't just throw together some letters because they sounded good. Oh, it's a good guy? More N's, M's and D's. Oh, it's a bad guy? More T's, K's, and S's. It should sound exotic? Put an apostrophe somewhere in it.

Stop. (Look at Game of Thrones: Ned Stark, Jaime Lannister, etc. They sound like real names. They don't sound like something from D&D.)

Sweet Potato Kale Pizza

After sidearming Gardens of the Moon across the room, I started my 2nd (their 4th) Oxford book. Empire of Liberty by Gordon Wood (of Good Will Hunting fame). I like two things about Gordon Wood: he's a good writer and he looks like Carl from the movie Up. This book covered the Jeffersonian Republican Era. It starts during the first Washington administration and goes through the end of the War of 1812. Wood uses a lot of quotes from letters and articles and such from people during the period. It gives the book this documentary feel, where the interviewees are describing the events in their own words. With this book, you don't feel you're reading history so much as you're hearing it.

When you think of American exceptionalism (not always a bad word), egalitarianism, democracy (not always a good word), rugged individualism, these ideas about ourselves came from this period. Also started during this period: gouging out eyeballs during fistfights, county fairs, and wearing pants.

One annoying thing Wood does, though, and he does it often: writing long lists in the middle of paragraphs. He does this sometimes twice in the same page. Wood loves lists. Here's an example about the beginning of clubs and "voluntary associations":

There were mechanic societies, humane societies, societies for the prevention of pauperism, orphan asylums, missionary societies, marine societies, tract societies, Bible societies, temperance societies, Sabbatarian groups, peace societies, societies for the suppression of vice and immorality, societies for the relief of poor widows, societies for the promotion of industry, indeed, societies for just about anything and everything that was good and humanitarian.

Potato Leek Rosemary Pizza

Yeah. If it rhymed, it would have sounded like Dr. Seuss: They had societies for the poor, for the drunks and for some whores, they made societies and made some more, they loved societies down to their cores. As annoying as it sounds, in the very next paragraph, he talks about being buried alive. So Wood keeps you on the edge of your seat. Definitely a refreshing installment after Middlekauff. Sitting on my bedside table is the next in the series, What Hath God Wrought by Daniel Walker Howe about the Jacksonian Period, which takes us from the War of 1812 through the Mexican War of the 1840s.

I needed a little break from history though, another slice of chocolate cake. I decided never to read anything else written by Erikson. Also, he's Canadian. So I turned to the epic fantasy series by one of the most prolific writers of all time, America's Horror Laureate, Stephen King. A few popular writers have written more titles than Stephen King, like Agatha Christie, Isaac Asimov, R.L. Stine. (Apparently, listing is infectious.) But I don't think any of them can match him in word count. So, you can love King or hate him (I do both), but you can't ignore him. A thousand years from now when some alien race is studying Ancient American Culture, they'll be reading Stephen King as much as Hemingway. Probably more.

Kale Mushroom Red Onion Pizza

When King started out to write the Dark Tower series, he wanted to do something as big and epic as Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, but with the look and feel of a Spaghetti Western. He cites the opening scene of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly as his inspiration.

The first book, The Gunslinger, pulls it off. Here's the first line:

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

He plops you into the action and you don't put the book down until it's finished. Everything you expect from Stephen King, the rambling backstories, pointless dialogue, description when you want action, incessant Dylan references, large excerpts you can skim out of boredom without missing much, none of that was in this book. This is the most un-stephen-king of any Stephen King book I've read. The writing is clean and crisp, the dialogue flows. He starts you at a jog and only gives you backstory when you need it. It has this Spaghetti Western, post-apocalyptic feel. Like Road Warrior. Like Book of Eli. Like Outlaw Josey Wales. There's a shootout in a small town, radioactive mutants, deserts, brawls, good versus evil. It does have some aristocratic elements, but it's the closest thing to what I'm talking about when I talk about American Fantasy. If you only read one Stephen King, read this one. The end is satisfying.

I need about a month between Oxford books. You know, to cleanse my palate. I can tear through the books in this series at a rate of one per week, so I'm on the third. The second book, Drawing of Three, lapsed into classic King, losing all of the feel and ambiance of the first book. On the other hand, it introduces the rest of the characters and the overarching plot is supposed to begin with this third one, The Waste Lands, so we'll see. The fourth is supposed to be the best of the series, so I'm going to give him through four before I decide whether I'll finish the series or not.

Moroccan Pizza

That's all. Here's your take away: Read Game of Thrones. Read The Gunslinger. Don't read Middlekauff.

Pizza Links
Mango Black Bean Pizza
Indian Spice Pizza
Spinach Feta Calzone
Spinach Artichoke Pizza
Sweet Potato Kale Pizza
Potato Leek and Rosemary Pizza
Kale Mushroom Red Onion Pizza
Moroccan Pizza

Parting Shot
On one end of my apartment complex, there are deep puppy prints in the parking lot where a dog ran through freshly poured concrete. In the fall, these fill with yellow leaves from the Honey Locusts that line the road and they look like festering sores.

Here's my favorite picture from the Wood book: 19th century Shakers doing an early rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller.

Societies for founding zoos, baking cakes, and brewing brews, societies to play the barrumbazoo. Societies for petting dogs, shoveling bogs and wrestling hogs. Societies for chopping logs. They had groups for bathing suits, coat and tie, and fluting flutes. They had societies, it's true, for tooting toots and scooping poops. They had societies of every kind, you see, from North to South and Sea to Sea.