When you think of Illinois, you probably think of corn, Abraham Lincoln, and seafood. No, you say, you don't think of Illinois Seafood? Me neither, come to think of it. However, Southern Illinois is the Galveston of the Great Plains.
Quoth the Enjoy Illinois Blog:
"Yes, there is Illinois Shrimp!"
To be more specific: there is prawns. What is the difference between a prawn and a shrimp, you ask? For the most part, you can use the terms interchangeably. Colloquially in the UK, people use the word prawns to mean big and the word shrimp to mean small. In the US, we usually use shrimp for the larger variety and prawn to mean small, freshwater species.
Apparently, subject-verb agreement isn't the only convention Southern Illinoyances throw out the window. Prawn farms down in the state tip grow Giant Malaysian Prawns (Macrobrachium rosenbergii). The species name comes from Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Because Malaysian Prawns turn red when you cook them, they are probably Communist Spies. Therefore we execute them and dine on their delicious carcasses.
The prawns grown in this questionable act, known as Alternative Agriculture, are, according to experts, quite tasty. Farm grown prawns have lower levels of fat, sodium, and iodine and they have higher percentages of protein. There's even a rumor floating around that people with shellfish allergies can gobble away at Illinois Prawns with impunity. The texture, I've read, is sweeter and denser than most shrimp and resembles lobster meat.
According to Prawn Monger Grover Webb (no relation... also not related to Socrates apologist Dan K. Webb), the trick lies in "control feeding." You don't feed the little bugs a few days before harvest, so they have smaller mud veins and a fresher, crispier taste. Farmer Webb produces around 3 thousand pounds of aquatic arthropods a year, most of which he sells every September at the nationally renowned Golconda Shrimp Festival.
The Shrimp Festival in question, located conveniently in Golconda on the Shawnee Wine Trail, started 11 years ago, brain child of the Shawnee Freshwater Prawn Growers Association to promote the Illinois Shrimp Industry. During the early 2000s, the Associate counted almost 70 member farmers. The number has since dwindled to around 20. The reason is more nefarious than one might imagine.
The Great Southern Illinois Prawn Boom owed its success to the nearby Illinois Fish Farmers Co-Op Processsing Center in Pinckneyville, which, when built, was the most technologically advanced fish processing plant in the United States. After devouring over $7 million in state grants and losing increasing amounts of money every year, the state sent auditors down south to snoop around. Despite abysmal book-keeping practices, auditors found that the Co-Op had frittered away exorbitant amounts of cash on donations to Shrimp Festivals and to bonus checks for executives even when the notion of a profit had long since become a joke. Basically everything that Goldman Sachs got away with in 2008. The Co-Op, however, was not too big to fail and the state put a padlock on the front door.
As you can imagine, this stuck a fork in the farmed fish industry in Illinois. Latest word on the grapevine says the Pinckneyville prison might take over operations and re-open the processing plant. I think this should be instructive for future economic crises. If prison labor works for Imperial Sugar and Illinois Shrimp, why not the banking industry?
Next Best Thing to the Horseshoe Sandwich
Despite being located thousands of miles from the nearest sea, Chicago has a signature seafood dish: Shrimp de Jonghe. Pronounced like feminist writer Erica Jong, not like sexiest man alive Kim Jong Un.
In the 1800s, Belgian brothers Henri, Pierre, and Charles immigrated to the Windy City and opened the De Jonghe Hotel. You probably see where this is going. In their restaurant, they began serving the shrimp dish which later took their name. It has been a Chicago Specialty, like Deep Dish Pizza, ever since.
Here's a recipe if you'd like to try it:
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Shrimp-de-Jonghe-105510
River Weasels
Last fall, the state of Illinois opened hunting season on River Otters for first time in 90 years.
The River Otter is the one of the larger members of the weasel family, slightly larger than the average wolverine, but smaller than the average car salesman. Growing up to 5 feet long and weighing in at around 30 pounds, the River Otter has the voracious appetite of its car salesman and wolverine cousins. It will eat anything smaller than itself that moves.
By the 1980s, the River Otter found itself on the Endangered Species list, the population shrank to around 100 individuals. The state paid to have 346 critters trapped in Louisiana and transported to Southern Illinois. After that population exploded.
These hungry critters chomped their way across Illinois like a wave of Langoliers. Bob Bluett from the Illinois Department of Natural Resources says:
"A few years after we did our last release, the biologist from Cook County, where Chicago is, called me up. And he said, Bob, I just have to tell you. The first time I've seen this. I saw one endangered animal eating another. And it was a river otter eating an endangered species of a fresh water mussel."
The Otter population, now grown to more than 20 thousand, has decimated fish populations and has begun to travel inland to raid fish farms (and prawn farms). Illinois said enough is enough. From November 2012 through March 2013, you can bag your own River Otter. A trapping license costs $10.50 and the additional Otter Permit costs another $5. The state has set a 5 Otter limit per trapper, but they are offering $70 per pelt.
Hurry and get yours before it's too late.
Parting Shot
I have a quick seafood anecdote. The other night, we had a delicacy that we allow ourselves every once in a great while. Bacon Wrapped Scallops. I found some fat scallops at the seafood counter, bought some bacon, and served them with Brown Rice and a Florentine Vegetable Blend. Delicious. Aine was beside herself with joy. Until bed time.
Let me tell you something. I think it has to do with our floor vents and the fact that we keep the bedroom door closed. When it's bed time, the room is always thick with the smell of whatever we cooked for dinner that night, even though the kitchen is on the other end of the apartment. I don't mind so much when we have Mexican Food or anything made with Beef. But going to bed after cooking Seafood? Needless to say, we had to light a few candles.
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